It sounds like you don't want to go. Since it's 6 hours of travel each way, it's not weird at all to decline. You don't have to get into any details about why you aren't going - just tell him that you can't make it and hope it goes well.
Also, I would not take his desire for a 50th birthday party personally -- he may like this kind of thing, even though you are not interested. It may be something everyone in his social circle does. I don't think it is an attempt to hurt you or one-up you.
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