Hi, thanks to anyone who responds.

First off, I know only a MH clinician can accurately diagnosis me, but I am not looking for a dx, I am just looking for opinions from those who have been dx as to whether or not this sounds like it could be schizoaffective. I can read the list of traits online from various sites, but I am only looking for personal experience here.

Every so often, I get this pretty much at the same time (like over the course of 2 or 3 days):

• severe agitation, irritation, and dysphoria
• inability to concentrate and focus
• crying spells and despair along with suicidal thoughts
• mild to moderate paranoia while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate visual hallucinations while not fully breaking from reality
• mild to moderate delusions while not fully breaking from reality (the movement of the blinds start to 'have meaning")
• sexual hypomania
• flashbacks and emotional memories of trauma
• severe, psychotic-like panic attacks
• dissociation--'blank' mind, numbing, hours goes by, sitting and staring w/o blinking
• depersonalization and derealization
• voices (my own) that say I hate you, kill you, etc.
• psychotic-like dissociative experiences that feel like I am possessed (with no complete break from reality) that my therapist and I refer to as an introject
• constant memory problems
• eyes shimmer/jerking

*adding-I've had racing thoughts too, just not most recent episode

...feeling totally messed up and hopeless.