I haven't been around this forum lately but I don't know where else I can get this off my chest. I haven't had much suicidal ideation recently and that has felt really nice. Yesterday my husband and I had a date night and I happened upon the easiest way to complete the task I have ever seen. I fantasized about it a little but mostly it just scared the poo out of me to be that close. I was scared I would lose control of myself/my anxiety and just take the plunge so to speak. I can't explain how I felt..... I'm not suicidal right know but I was very afraid I would do it, I couldn't trust myself. Does anyone understand where I'm coming from?