Quote:
Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung
Your body should adjust if you had a proper diet. You are gradually killing yourself, dude, or at the least greatly increasing your chances of severe problems. (diabetes and heart issues, I'd expect) Have you seen a doctor about all this? It all sounds very self-destructive... are you sure you're not doing this intentionally as some sort of self-harm? Have you ever tried gradually lowering the dose? Because gradually lowering it should, in effect, wean you off the "drugs" (sugar and caffeine). Perhaps women feel that if you don't show your body any respect (killing it, ... sorry, I know this comes off harshly) why should they? I'm worried for your health, ... I can't imagine what they must think. It's bad for your heart, your teeth, probably your stomach, God knows what else. You could probably get medication that would help wean you off. If you don't make a change, it could be too late. I think you should be focusing on your health instead of women, to be honest. :| *genuinely very concerned* :\ Please seek proper medical help?
I seem to recall you said you're overweight... well, that's not surprisingly. Although the caffeine will be shocking your metabolism, it's probably still not enough, because of the sheer amount of calories and probably saturated fats you're taking in. I wager that your diet isn't too great either. Do you get much protein? Vitamins? You know there are natural sugars, right? You could be feeding your body with proper sugar instead of that crap in cans. A banana, for example, has tons of sugar in it, but it's slow, which means your body gets a gradual intake of nutrients.
Are you anxious? No wonder! With all the sugar you're piling in, and especially caffeine, you're sticking everything into overdrive which will of course enhance your anxiety. I have had anxiety issues most if not all of my life... I know that if I go near too much caffeine or sugar, I could really increase my anxiety levels.
I suspect that when you eventually crash from the sugar, you feel horrendous, ... let me guess, you feel crappy every morning? Do you get headaches? Bowel problems? There's so many issues here... please get help.
Really sorry for saying all this, but I'm worried and I feel it's important you know what you're in for. If you keep thinking it's too late, it really will be too late, but you can make a change, ... at the very least, you can try to make a change. It sounds like you did well a while back by biking and stuff, but it was likely misguided... I figure you probably needed to ween yourself off it, and I don't think a couple of months was nearly enough time for your body to adjust from several years of abuse.
I'll stop nagging now. GL, dude.
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Sorry Zwangsstörung, not aimed at you at all, just using your post as a segway, so please ignore, it's not in response to your post
. I feel it's time for a bit of a rant and rave (please, all who are sensitive, click to another post now already!!! You have been warned).
OK, this is going to come as a shock, I don't mean to shock but it's going to be one. I want it to happen. Yes, I want it to all come crashing down on me. You say it's slowly going to kill me? Then I should definitely up my intake! Because, clearly I'm not doing a good enough job of killing myself yet.
Doctor?...Our family doctor can go to hell for all I care, he is nothing but a self-assured prick who takes delight in humiliating me in front of my mom every time I go there, as are all of them. Have you ever been to a doctor when you're fat? I would rather go and have my balls cut off with a chainsaw. You are the epicentre of directed hatred and sarcasm, you are made to feel like a complete loser. So, guess what I did, I vowed NEVER to go back to any of them. Have I been in pain since then? You damn right. I have gout in my ankles almost every single month, for at least a week, which means I can't even walk for a week. I crap my pants because I can't even get to the toilet in time. Will I give in? NEVER!!! I won't even take a pain pill from them. I like being in pain, because I guess I deserve it. They say everything that ever happens in life to you, you have caused and deserve. So, here's to that (middle finger). But, what they didn't count on is me checking out before the game is done, so they should keep pushing me...
All my life I've had to endure other people's hate and vile crap directed towards me. Am I overweight now? You damn right, was I back then, no I wasn't! When I was thin, they kept telling me "Oh, you're not eating enough" "Oh, you gonna be a little skinny ******" "Oh this, oh that, oh you're anorexic now, look at you, just ribs and bones". When I was thin, that wasn't good enough, when I'm fat, that's not good enough. When I'm too quiet then I need to speak up, when I speak up they tell me to shut up. ****!!!!!!! What must I do to make these F****** people happy?
I AM happy with myself, but that seems to be a problem for other people! Are people so paranoid, so weak, so insecure that I've got to change myself to make them feel better about themselves?
No, I've had enough already! I've got to lose weight just so that someone can notice me for once and I can get a date? So that my girlfriend can say "Wow, my Adrian is such a great guy, he's the best guy I could ever have wished for! OOOOOOOOh, I love him so much". GOOOD GRIEEFFFF!!! I'm like that anyway, whether I'm fat or not! That's the problem, I know who I am, and I am who I am, why must I change form before someone else can accept that for once?
Twelve F****** years I went to that S***-hole they call school. It took those A-S-S-H-O-L-E-S I called classmates 12 f***king years to realize "Hey! You know what? That Adrian's not such a lame dickhead as we thought he was after all! He's actually a pretty cool guy! What have we missed out on?" Twelve years before they write in the school newspaper "No, he's really cool, so caring and such a great person, you just have to get to know him". GOOOD GRIEEEFFFFFF!!!! Just STFU.
I've got to lose weight and look like a million bucks before the shells can fall off of these people's eyes? What? Are only thin people good people, all fat people are losers and assholes? This is truly pathetic, and is the primary reason why I am beginning to hate everything I see around me more and more and more and more every day.
And, on top of that, I've got to have a million bucks too before someone will think I'm worth checking out?
You see, this S*** used to bother me before, but not anymore. Everyone can care less if I end up in an early grave? They can't care less if I exist or not, or I'm not worth anything to anyone? Then so be it.
I've said before, my weight and addictions issues are due to a traumatic time in my childhood. I couldn't control what was happening to me, I didn't even know it was happening to me. I'd love to tell my therapist and help me deal with this, but that is what is called repressed memories. I can't remember what happened!
That's why I've always been in the friendzone. Because the world is false, do people understand what I see now? They are false. They say "don't judge a book by it's cover, hehehe" and then that's exactly what they do. Uuugggghhh...whatever, I'm just sick of all of this. I think it's time for me to leave for good.
Please understand, Zwangsstörung, this is NOT aimed at you. I just had to vent. I thank you very much for your post, you DO give good advice.
But, I mean if I look out there at how people are going about their business, then I think my weight is an insignificant problem in comparison. I refuse to betray myself and give in to anything simply to satisfy these ivory towers and falsehoods about love and romance that these demonic people have constructed for themselves. We all have problems, but mine are blown out of proportion because you can SEE them. What about thin, sexy beautiful women who are psychopaths that manipulate all they come into contact with, NOOO!!! that's OK, they can get away with whatever they want because they are rich (from conning other people) and beautiful. I make one mistake, one mistake in my life, and it's not even something I could do anything about at the time, I was a little boy, and I've got to be punished forever for it. I didn't even know what was happening to me, dammit. That's how great this life and universe is. I've had enough, I want no part of it anymore. If I've got to spend eternity in a sea of flames for not "getting it", well then so be it. At least I know what I'm in for.