Waterknob…Thanks for your kind reply. I will check out the grief forum. I'm new here so still a bit hesitant to post much. I'm sorry to hear you lost both parents, and so close together. My father died 6 yrs ago, but I wasn't close to him, we had a difficult relationship..so I didn't go thru this sadness when he passed. I know that sounds terrible, but he had been very sick (strokes) for 10 yrs and it was a relief for the whole family. My mom was so special, I always bragged about what a great mom she was.

I have gone thru so many yrs of constant depression, it's ridiculous. I don't tolerate meds very well, so it's hard going thru the trial and error of finding an AD that helps. I've also run the gamut of meds for the FM/CFS, now using a Butrans patch for pain w Vicodin for break thru pain. I want to get off the patch because it's not working as well as it used to. My primary doc is great, but I haven't seen a psychiatrist in several yrs so I think it's time to see if there's any other meds on the horizon.

My problem with lack of motivation just stops me in my tracks. I get so mad at myself that I can't make myself get up and do things. My house is a filthy mess, housekeeping is not easy for me. I overdo it and then crash for days. It's such a vicious cycle, and I'm so tired of it. I just hope I can see some improvement soon, I am so so so sad.

Thanks again….