You are no bother and I'm glad you couldn't delete this thread. BP is a beast living within us. It rips us apart and breaks us down. Telling lies that we are not wanted and a burden. Tempting us to just give up and give in. We can totally control the beast, but when it is raging we can be mindful. It is hard to hear right now, but this to shall pass. Know that this is a moment in your life that you must go through and it is not you but the beast inside. And I agree, communicate with your wife.