Hi Daycia, regardless of what you do or don't do today then I'd say that you still should be marking this morning up as an achievement. You've felt confident, you've felt like going out and that sounds like a big thing for you, so don't go dismissing it, hey??!!
And even if you're going over to your mothers well today you've gone over after having really chosen what you want to wear, straightened your hair.............now I'm taking it that doesn't always happen..........so today is still different!!
And "bank that", that's still good!!!
Your friends........well another day, hey??
But the anxiety.........are you getting help/support from anyone e.g. friends or T with it.........experimenting with relaxation exercises........pushing your "boundaries" a little........??
And the........."Why can't I just be normal............", well "normal" can be so subjective a term.........I'd say that you were normal (if there is such a thing!!) it's just that you're struggling with some issues/problems right now??
It might help you to check out the forum for Anxiety, Panic, Phobia's on here.
But while you're here.......if you want to talk a bit more...............???
Alison