Hi Daycia, thanks for replying

I have two appointments this week for my first time and I'm pretty anxious. Another member on here gave me some self improvement type books to try. I've felt better and kept doing research.

The appointments...........well they're "just" going to act as a starting point, a bit of a basis for moving on and exploring issues, experimenting with things that might help so just try to be yourself, if you can try to do that any expectations should be on them not on you. And given some time and the more they/you can learn hopefully the easier things will become for you. But big step in getting those appointments, really pleased for you.
And the research........that's a really good idea too, that way you're probably going to feel a little more in control yourself and you'll be able to explore more what works for you.

Funniest thing I was outside sweating stepped in paint on the deck with my nice sandals...went to wash them off in the hose and the water rushed out randomly and quickly completely soaking my shirt half way down and shorts. For a millisecond I was upset then just began laughing. I'm holding onto this as a positive thing and keeping a smile on my face.

And......a double positive there!!!
You managed to go to all that effort and.........really good you could laugh about it!! And absolutely keep that smile!!

As far as my anxiety it gets pretty bad going new places, new people, alone, feeling judged stared at, all the noise and every little thing becoming noticeable and I just can't handle it and have to leave. I'm working on pushing the boundaries and it slowly has worked and other days complete disaster. These are things along with my depression and relationship issues I will be addressing with my T once I get in and comfortable talking.

It is good that you're trying to push those boundaries.........and just try to do it all at your own pace. Doesn't matter how little you may be able to push them at times, every little bit counts.........and there may be periods where you just can't do anymore, there may be days where the anxiety completely takes over and you're not able to do some of the things you generally can. But try not to let those pull you down........bit by bit.......and don't lose sight of those achievements, hey??!!
It can take time, and good you're planning on talking to your T, can help on the journey



Alison