I'll put my two cents' worth in here.

To cut through is a tedious and usually never-ending process. My wife was like that: not "into" sex with me though she'd do it and had no qualms against it. She just wasn't that much "into" me either. It took me a very long time to discover just exactly what that meant.

Her real interest was in other things, other people. It took a great deal of time for me to realize this. I grew more and more frustrated with her behavior. She really never seemed to care who I was, what I wanted. All that mattered between us was what she wanted, who was interesting to her, where she was going, etc.

If I had only been honest with myself I would have told her, "This is just crap. You don't please me, you don't need to please me, you don't want to please me, and you probably never can please me. We are incompatible and must get divorced," I'd have saved myself decades of wall-banging and frustration.

Most people who are honest with themselves know that life is exciting and should be exciting and interesting, and sometimes--not rarely but sometimes-- it should be thrilling. And the easiest thrill to have is with someone you love and who loves you. No love without requital.