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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
So I just started my doctorate, but for the life of me, I still can't understand why I was accepted in the first place. I guess I keep telling myself that it was because I went there for my Masters so they know me. But I don't feel qualified to be there.
I almost had some confidence in my abilities (at least within my career field), but upon returning, I feel extremely stupid and incompetent on an almost daily basis. I wonder how many people are seeing/thinking the same thing about me? I try really hard to hide it, but I have a feeling that at least one of the professors that have known me for years can see it.
I don't even know who to talk to about this either. I can't talk to this professor because I'm not sure if I can trust that he's telling me the complete truth and not just saying what I want to hear. I want to trust him, but I don't know.
And any other professors that I might talk to will likely be on my graduate committee and the last thing I want to do is give the people who allow me to graduate someday the opportunity to start doubting me. And again, I don't know if I can trust them to be completely honest.
I just wonder how many other people are getting a graduate degree right now who also don't feel like they're qualified to be there…and also feel like no amount of work on their part will ever make them qualified.
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I was recently in a doctorate program at a top 5 university and I can tell you that what you're feeling is absolutely normal. It is known as "impostor syndrome."
I would advise you not to share your feelings with faculty members as they will not soon forget them and they will begin to doubt your ability. I was fully funded and getting straight A's and still chose not to share. I chose, instead, to avail myself of the counseling services on campus. You might do well to do that too.
I also recommend that you work on challenging thoughts that leave you doubting your ability. You made it into your program because you were/are qualified for it. Go at your own pace and know that there are others suffering in silence from impostor syndrome. Give yourself time to adjust. I did and grew close to three other students (one from my cohort) who later shared with me that they too doubted themselves at the start of the program.
I ultimately adjusted and passed my faculty review with flying colors.
Check out gradcafe.com for further support and feel free to pm me.
