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Originally Posted by Leah123
What if I'm honest and reassuring?
I think you're projecting your own struggle and worries on to your therapist.
Perhaps part of the reason you question his committment is because you are shaken right now, but try to remember, the intensity of your experience being you is much greater than the intensity of his experience listening to and helping you. He can handle it I imagine, just fine.
It sounds like you two have an established relationship, so that's largely why I don't think your concerns will materialize. Your worry won't be contagious.
I'm sorry you can't afford a second session. I wonder if he'd be open to some type of compromise on fees or focus with you on coping mechanisms and stabilization right now rather than doing anything that might be more upsetting, etc.
At any rate, I hope it will be a big relief to see him tomorrow: some of the times I have most anticipated a negative response have turned out to be some of my best sessions.
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Yes, you're probably right, Leah. Same here--best sessions after anticipating negative responses. Thanks for reminding me about that too.
Part of it is that I want him to feel good about treating me. This is an ongoing thing. In my semi-twisted mind, I having his feeling good linked with receiving nurturing, protection, and care. The only thing I can think of that would make him feel good is feeling that his work is rewarding; and, I think that i'd have to be getting better (in some form or another) for him to feel that his work with me is rewarding. I was steadily improving, but now this.
He already gives me a generous discount. I could never ask him for more because he is worth so much more than I pay him already. I already feel like he resents me every time I send him a check. It seems so small.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Per your other post, why would you go to the hospital - wont they just put you on more meds? Or do you envision being there under the care of your t? Im confused. But i do vote for a med change.
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I'm not thinking of going to the hospital now. I am worried that, for the future, if it has something to do with that introject--I don't think certain meds can treat that. I am especially worried about not having an anxiolytic since I only have 2 left. I have a new GP, who is already prescribing me an ADD drug off label, in addition to a sleeping pill, so I'm afraid to ask him for another psych drug. He doesn't even know me; I've only seen him twice so far.