Hi ToeJam, I'm not sure what to say to make it better. But you did the right thing to call the crisis team. You did exactly the right thing so for that you are on track. I am glad you were able to talk to a supportive person who was helpful. I believe it would be good to go over all of this with your T. Depression is such a horrible thing. It bullies you, makes you hate yourself, then makes you want to hurt yourself, then the anxiety attacks and on the list goes. It's hard. Hang in there. You have had a hard time but you are going to make it. You are such a good person and we all care.