I just can't get away from it. No matter what, I keep having it rubbed in my face that I'm a lowly, celibate, stupid person. I feel like I need sex therapy 24/7 from wanting to end my life. I wasted over 2 years for a woman who never wanted to go out with me. Now I date someone that wants to go out with me, but I don't know now. I loathe stupidity, yet I am the worst offender; whether it be at work or in my attempts to find women. I hate sunny days when everybody is out holding hands, sticking a middle finger at my f****t self. And yet those are pitifully trivial reasons to feel depressed. When I've hit an ebb where I want to take my life, I don't find help on suicide hotlines, just judgment. And when I can't find the one or two people online that truly care about me, I get pitiful cliches and fake cheers.

Oh, and as I type this, I am in bed achy, congested, sneezy, and sweaty. Happy happy joy joy Oh and since I'm broke (thanks scumbags borrowing money by manipulating me because I choose to be such an idiot) I can't afford to call off.

Other than that, everything is just fine and dandy.