Hi Soccer Mom...

I'm not sure that I'm really able to get at what she's saying with the difference between "validation" versus "affirmation". If my T said that to me, I'd want him to clarify... because I'm usually pretty good with fine distinctions of language, but I'm truly drawing a blank here

When she says she won't "validate" your feelings because they should stand on their own... hmm... does she mean she's not going to say, "Oh, you're scared of such-and-such, and it's ok to feel that way" ? I thought that's part of what good Ts do... help us understand how we feel, and that those feelings are ok... especially if we didn't get that kind of feedback growing up?

Heck, I thought part of what a good T did (I'm still not clear on all this!) was sometimes modeling appropriate emotional responses... like you might tell a story about your childhood that's awful, but you have very little emotional response to it. Your T might say, "wow that sounds really painful, I would be feeling terrified in that situation - how did you feel" (?).

Sorry... I hope I'm not adding more confusion... just thinking... and still not getting your T's distinction either... !