Quote:
Originally Posted by Velouria
When I was really sick several years ago, my best friend told me, "I want my Mary back." I was a little confused -- I thought I'd been making a good show of pretending to be fine.
At the same time, somewhere inside me, I got mad at her, I thought it was really selfish of her. I actually felt guilty! It wasn't my fault I was like that. There was nothing I could do about it, and I was doing the best I could. At least, I thought I was. But I didn't actually have enough energy to do the best I could at that time. In an ironic twist of events, she saved my life -- very, very literally.
What he's really trying to tell you is how much you mean to him. He wants you to do better not just for him, but for you. People don't always know how to say that, even though it seems so simple.
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I know he loves me to death and so do I. I would do anything for him, thru sickness and in health right? I know he wants me to do better for the both of us but I don't know what I am doing wrong. I have always had the fear of abandonment because every guy left me because of this, but he says he won't as long as I keep trying. I do everyday, how can he not see that? I go to therapy, I see my pdoc, I never skip my meds. He knows how hard it is for me to go to work everyday. When it is bad I wake out of my sleep having a panic attack. That is how I get to start my day sometimes. It just makes me sad that when I really think in terms of reality, I probably won't ever be like the girl he met years ago.