That's the problem with me. I've always had to earn my emotions. I'm not allowed to feel sad or depressed, after all, I have a roof over my head and a car and a job. That's how I was manipulated. If I didn't supply money, 3 little kids were going to be put on the streets homeless (this was my former neighbor emptying my bank account, most likely to feed his drug habit).

I don't know about other suicide hotlines, but the national suicide hotline has been condescending, judgmental, at the very least pitifully cliched. If I had a weapon or means at the time, I may have finished the job. Congrats to them.