You do write beautifully Leah. I wish we had a 'love' button to go with the 'thanks' and 'hugs'

I don't know... Both of my Ts have awaked a wistful sort of longing in me. Previous T I adore, even though our relationship was a very painful one. I know I'll never see her again in any meaningful way, but I desperately want something like the promise that she offered, or maybe more like hinted at, in my life.
T always says he is there for me, and that I can call if I need anything - though I never do, I'm not so sure about this 'needing anything' thing... What is anything anyway? I want something or somebody in my life like the idea of him too.
The sort of ramble-y point I'm trying to make here is that no matter whether we see or Ts in person or otherwise, we attach a certain desire to them. Or something. Perhaps better to say we become aware of desires we have hidden from ourselves through the intercession of our Ts. It seems like our Ts are the object of those desires. And perhaps, for a while, they are. Certainly they become that for a little while, just an hour at a time... But therapy is not life, it's playing at life, a practice place. Eventually we have to go out in the world and find the true objects of our desires. That is healing. I suppose...