I'm a 23 year guy. I do feel normal stuff, funny, humor and get angry, sad and depressed. But i never show the dark side. Nobody will ever see me sad or depressed, angry yes, but never the other. I always act happy or positive and i usually am 90% of the time. But i go dark allot, but never show it on the outside, and nothing spurs it on though, that's the strange part, i just fall into that abyss and will be there for a while and then be over with. I have accepted that about me.

My question really is, why can't i feel emotions towards others. I have met the most amazing woman, smart, funny, gorgeous beyond believe. I adore her allot and i like her allot. But i don't feel THAT feeling, i never loved someone before, i don't think i can, or dont know how, that feeling doesnt pop up.

This all might sound strange the way i explain this. But i dont want to lose her, and she knows about all the dark stuff that goes on in my head, when i fall. and she knows i'm a rock when it comes to explaining my feelings, but she finally cracked the rock a bit and i told her most of the stuff i struggle with and some of the stuff was dark, and she didn't run away. That surprised me so much.

She told me once she loved me, but why dont i feel anything beyond the normal emotions, the deeper stuff.

I dont know how to feel the real stuff, i grew up to never get soft. Dont show emotions, you have to man up, and get the job done