This really is having a huge impact on me, and my ability to cope with anything else in my life. And that really pisses me off!

My sister called this evening, and we have issues, I can not talk to my family about any of this, they do not get it or me. My sister says they care, but the just can't talk about stuff, because they have a different perspective to me. She says that she wants to help and then tells me in the same breath that she just can't hug me. She can't with family, but that she can and does with all of her friends!!!!!! Awesome. That made me feel great. I was crying and a mess on the phone....and...way to make me feel better. You can't hug me, when I just tell you that all I need in the world is a hug from someone who cares???????

It just reinforces all of the **** that is in my head about myself......and this is not going to get easier if we move to trauma talk!

RTS...my appointment is in the afternoon, after a full day at university. Depends where you are in the world, not sure, but that's late night for you all stateside. Thanks for thinking of me anyway.

Aloneandafraid..... just sweetie. I'm sorry you are struggling so too. Also, hun, I hope you don't mind if I say this. I just know that drinking never once helped me feel better in the long run, and in the short term when I did, it was almost deadly. At least now I get a chance to face my dark demons sober, that gives me a better chance of getting ahead. Take care of yourself.

Sweepy.... just, thank you.

I haven't felt this low for a while, and I'm really hurting. I hope I can get the support I need with T tomorrow....if I can get myself to face him.