Hello Browncurtains, welcome to Psych Central.

Feeling suicidal or wanting to kill yourself is an indication that you need to seek support. The highest group of individuals that actually succeed in killing themselves happens to be young adutl males. I don't know if you are male or female, is does not matter, what matters is that you feel suicidal at times. Please seek help, talk to a teacher, doctor, someone you trust. Here are some helplines Psych Central: Suicide and Crisis And please keep talking here also.