Hi hazelgirl, no matter what, you are going to feel the guilt, no matter what anyone tells you, even your t, like mouse says, just feel the guilt, you might think I am nuts, but this is what I do. I let myself feel the guilt, I give myself a sentence, like a mini trial, even if I am not wrong, Im my own judge and jury, depending on the situation, I will say, ok I give myself x amount of days to feel guilty, after that I allow myself to open the jail cell and let myself out into freedom, be out on parole, because I have done my time. If that does not work, then if I am still ruminatinating about it, I know its not healthy, not that it was to begin with, but then its time to process this with t,. This is just me.
My t knows I do this, this is just part of feeling my emotions. she rather I dont feel guilty for things I dont need to feel guilty over, but its all part of sitting with my emotions, so we are seeing where this goes.

hi hazelgirl . I hope that time might be able to heal this wound . if you and your friend are close I am sure it will. it sounds like your friend is forgiving and so are you so it might just take some time for these feelings to go away. my guess is they are routed in your past not present and takes a bit to work themselves out