First off. I'm new to this. I have ALWAYS struggled with depression and anxiety. recently as I grow into my early-mid 20s, it only seems to be getting worse. I don't have many close friends because I'm not into going out every chance I get or about social standpoints or groups. I feel like it is hard to find someone to relate to my age that feels this way, also. My anxiety has triggered many issues in my life and I also suffer from social anxiety. Seriously. I sweat and have heat attacks while at work or school. I can't get past this and it kills me. I get nervous even having to go inside and pay for my gas. I have a boyfriend and we live together and have been together for almost 4 years. He's amazing and supportive but just doesn't get how depression or anxiety works. He always tells me every positive thing one would like to hear when they are down but it just doesn't help me. I wish it was that easy.

I also have a very supportive family. My mother has suffered with depression all her life also. (With some hypothyroidism thrown in the mix) so she is easy to relate to- except she has her depression under control. I try and explain how I feel to those around me but I just don't feel like they understand. I don't know. I guess I'm just ready to feel ****ing better. I don't WANT to feel this way at all!

I feel like a black hole is in my chest. I always say to myself- and I've never shared this with anyone- that I'd just rather go to sleep....forever. It'd obviously be easier that way. But I know I will NEVER go through with something like that, but still, the thought crosses my mind regularly. I feel like I am extremely unimportant in this world. Which I am, because only a few would notice if I am gone. I feel so insignificant! I just want to know that others feel this way too. I just want to talk about it. And I just want to relate to someone.