Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
Guilloche, what happened with your ex-T sounds a lot like what happened to me with my previous T. Just like you I felt like everything I said or did was wrong, and every time I tried to explain myself I just made it worse. It's what happens when transference is met with countertransference instead of understanding.
It is definitely something that you need to process with your T, but it's *hard*. The transference happened in the first place for a reason - the people in your life didn't understand you and didn't want to try to understand you, and then that preexisting belief is reinforced by a T who can't control their countertransference. It makes it -so- -freaking- -hard- to believe that another T would listen to you after that.
But, if you can use the experience - analyze both your reactions and the T's, it gives valuable insight on your patterns. You just have to be brave enough to believe that your T has your back.
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Interesting... thanks JustShaky. It does sound like we had very similar experiences. It is still mind-boggling to me that this guy, who is... or should be... professional, educated, etc. had such a bad reaction to me. I've already mentioned to my current T that I thought old T got pulled into my stuff... old T thought I didn't like him (which wasn't really true), and hinted at that... said things like "you must think I'm a schmuck" and a couple other comments.
So frustrating to look back on now... I really wish I had had the sense to see how bad that was going for me... and I hate that I wasted so much money back then on that!!!
Anyway, thanks for this... it does give me a little more perspective on what must have been happening at that time!