I wanted to share something I found that I think could be a good tool for self-care around what I have found to be a troubling symptom of complex PTSD, that is, cripplingly negative self-talk that has so become second nature that we may not even realize all the times and ways in which we are doing it.
A self-reporting form for noting negative self-talk is provided in the book
Cognitive Behavioral Therapies for Trauma, of which some portions are made available on the web; I first came across it while doing research on distorted trauma-related beliefs. Included is a section on "Modifying Guilt- and Shame-Related Self-Talk", and the program that is suggested for doing so seems to me to be one that could be well managed by some individuals.
A favorite term of mine is "
cognitive distribution", as a synonym for the simple act of getting information onto paper and out of one's head at the same time, and I think that with certain information this can become an especially powerful tool. I am expecting to discover some detail about the negative self-talk that I am running in my own head, elements of which are not quite so apparent whilst they only exist in that space, that is, in my head!
If interested, you can view the self-monitoring form provided
here, and read more about how to successfully use it
here, but basically the idea is to note the only the first instance within delineated 4-hour periods, within each of three categories* of negative self-talk that you might have (otherwise it could be quite exhausting, trying to note them all sometimes, right?
). It is my own pre-existing belief based on what I perceive now, that I am more prone to negative self-talk earlier in the day, however it may just be that I get better at resolving the thoughts later in the day. Who knows how setting the information out in this way will be revealing; perhaps some thoughts I'm having are actually much more prominent or frequent than others, and will stand out as being those with the greatest potential reward to work on.
I don't much like the term
cognitive distortion, as there seems to be some potential amidst the psych community at large to erroneously apply the term to things that are not distortions per se, but perspectives that can be valid in their own right. That said, I know that there are things I am telling myself at a deeper level that are not helpful to me, and that I wish to change, whatever their level of validity.
I'm all about well-directed
cognitive distribution though; I journal a whole lot already on my own and it is indeed helpful, but it is quite unstructured, and I think this program will give me something positive and specific to work towards. I need a goal post, or throwing the football can be quite pointless. (Does that analogy even work? It's been so long since I watched a game..
)
yours truly
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* The three categories of negative self-talk referenced: 1: I shoulda/coulda;
2: Self put-downs of entire personality or character such as I'm stupid, I'm inadequate, there's something wrong with me;
3: "I feel" statements that end with words that are not emotions such as ..obligated ..responsible