Quote:
Originally Posted by Red75
I think that you have made a very good start to understanding this feeling. I'm so sorry that you've never been able to put yourself first, or have anyone else show you your worth.
I hear that you feel like you are taking something from someone, or intruding.
But maybe you're joining in at the table? No one likes to eat alone 
It's hard to value ourselves as able to stand alongside others, I know. But I think that's a great way to look at it. Not as competing for anything, but standing alongside each other.
I hope that you can explore this feeling further cos it sounds like you are well on the way to something huge, and healing.
Good luck
Xxxx |
My T mentioned competition before, but I didn't really connect it. I feel like it's more like taking what I shouldn't have, but maybe it's partly not able to compete. Or being told that I cannot. I don't have siblings and I had to compete with my mom for my dad's attention so it was never a level playing field. Or never even a game I was allowed or supposed to play in a way. Oedipal stuff I suppose, but weird because my mom didn't act as an adult in this...
I know I struggle with balancing my kids' needs too. My daughter is stronger than my son - he can't compete with her due to his SNs. I feel like I should be the counterweight between the two of them, but with my own poor boundaries I worry that I'm not effective enough.
Joining in at the table is an excellent metaphor. It's effectively what I try to tell myself. I worry that I'll do something like stick my elbow in the gravy or spill my drink on someone
I suppose everyone sticks their foot in it at some point though. I need to try and worry less about such things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1
you can post whatever you feel you need to post . although we may all have similar issues we are all different in ways. I don't see you as selfish at all . you go out of your way to support people . `
|
Thanks Granite
You made me cry a little with that
I'm really going to try to work on expressing my needs here. I figure if I can do it here I might be able to take T up on his offer to call or email if I need anything.