Thanks for all of the replies. Saw my T tonight and well, I don't know... it was not as productive as it has been in the past. I guess I am just feeling so confused and mixed up with where I'm at right now that I was probably coming across as frustrated, a bit stir crazy and angry at myself.

She asked when I was going to accept that I was ill... to which I replied that I'm finding it hard to accept 'illness' when I can't put a finger on what is going on... I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety sure... but now there is a personality disorder on the cards that I have to wait weeks for a follow up... got an aspergers screening god knows when... she has identified trauma work that needs to be done.... nothing is simple... and it feels like it's going to take a long long time till I'm no longer hopping from one foot to the other wondering what the hell is going on.

Tangent I know but this reminds me of a recent topic on here about 'choosing to be depressed'.... pffft... not a chance + I'm getting additional stuff thrown at me and it starting to overwhelm.

When I got home, I spoke to my wife... told her that I was sorry for all of this... that I just want to get back to having some semblance of get up and go like I did in my 20's (I still struggled with mh... but I had some kind of reserve back then that fought on regardless without medical help as I had had enough of mh services while at Uni). She said that it was ok, to take things a day at a time... and that to look at it in the context of: a year ago, I was getting very little support and it was singled down to depression... sure these extra things are adding stress, but long term it's good they've been identified.

Sorry... long post and a bit of verbal diareeh... and I guess a rant with some self pity to throw into the mix

I just hate being locked up in my own head... but I guess I'm preaching to the choir on that one