Hi TJ, to hold back from the complete diatribe I could launch on.........I'll translate "She asked when I was going to accept that I was ill..." into: "When are you going to go easier on yourself/give yourself a break........."
But I know it must be really hard to have so many unanswered questions with assessments coming up.........but to a point it doesn't have to be so "scary"/"life changing", you already know some of the problems you're having, and some of the ways of dealing with these, or some of the things that don't help e.g. if it's Aspergers then you are already, in some ways, dealing with it e.g. by use of the headphones when you need (not to say that everyone with Aspergers need that, or that plenty of people without Aspergers don't find that helpful, just..........). And your wife (?) is spot on with the "but long term it's good they've been identified" because that may lead you to finding/using even more coping skills with...........which could give you even more "get up and go" when you have some more answers. So a positive thing in the long term??
But the actual depression/anxiety...........you're not going to "just accept" it anyway, right?? You're going to accept that sometimes it is there and your limitations with it, without "blaming yourself/beating your self up", but also keep the door open to what you may be able to do about/with/despite it.
And, I spot a contradiction with........"choosing to be depressed'.... pffft... not a chance" and "I spoke to my wife... told her that I was sorry for all of this".........a little less "guilt", hey TJ??!!
Alison