Some bad news really shocked me and sent me into a swirl of anxiety. I could feel it almost under my skin. And didn't even sleep last night though I had a final and was supposed to study…I just wrote in my journal unable to settle down. Also my therapist is on a long vacation so no contact or sessions for a while.

Anyway, I called one of my teachers, who is friendly and on the younger side to ask for advice. She was so sympathetic and gave me two concrete things to do and one to avoid. I decided to follow some of it and do my own looking into things, even though I really needed to settle and even sleep.

The work turned out to be productive. Not everything is handled completely but there is something in progress on each of the issues. I still need to wait, which isn't easy. And it is still hard to settle down. It's like you've been in a hurricane and then it stops but you are soaking wet and bracing yourself anyway.

(I did text my therapist to let him know there was some good news, and he wrote back "Far f-ing out.")