I see my T tomorrow. I don't know if she can help with what I think is anticipatory grief. There is no cure for my H's disease and what I read and what the drs. say about how it progresses is terrifying! Right now he feels okay but time is ticking away. I think we're both in denial because it was such a shock and we still can't believe it.

I don't feel like business as usual in therapy but I don't know what I want. Maybe I just want to sit there with her chair close to mine and hold her hand. I want her to protect me from what I will be going through when my H gets sicker. I know she can't do that. I wish I could cry with her but I still can't. She will ask me to go inside and tell her what I feel and where, like she usually does. Hopefully doing that will help but I'm not sure.