Thank you Idiot? and Skeez. I had a therapy session today that involved emdr and it was difficult. I think that's why I feel so depressed. I feel hopeless that my T can help me. So much emotional neglect as a child and abuse. So much of what I am is a product of my childhood. It's so ingrained I don't know that I'll ever change. Its hard changing how I feel about myself.

I'm safe. I'll call my T if need be. It's just hard being in this dark space. I don't have time for this in my life.