I'm sorry. That is a painful thing to have to endure. Sometimes these things feel like the pain of it will kill us, but we don't die from these things. We all have to figure out how to go on, even from a painful and/or embarrassing rejection.
Is there something that is keeping you from putting it behind you? The old saying, "time heals ..." is especially true in this case. Perhaps you need more time.
Again, I am very sorry for your pain.