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Originally Posted by Depletion
I have to say that I really relate to this. I have been treated badly and abandoned by therapists in the past. I am struggling in my current therapy immensely to trust.
But I think that there are two things that are important to realize. First abandonment or feelings that the other person is not there can be created by things that have occurred in the past. When we enter vulnerable spaces like therapy these kinds of issues can come up big time. Have you been abandoned in the past either emotionally or physically, if so you maybe reliving some of those feelings now, and you need to tell your T. Second, therapy is like any other relationship, if something is bothering you in the relationship, you need to find away to bring it up. And while it is true that actions do speak louder than words you need to create a venue for those actions to happen by bringing up the topic. If you don't do that then your T has no way to act. I suggest as others have said that showing her this post might be a good way to accomplish that. If she doesn't respond with concern or in some other way that reflects the importance of the issue that you raise, then it might be a good idea to go else where, but I really think that you need to give her a chance first.
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I do have some abandonment issues but I don't think this is the cause. I will explain my long story. I had rash of sorts under my skin that could not be seen but could be felt. I was instructed to inform them if a rash occurred. I left a message for my p-doc. He called back left a message saying I have not made any changes so it must be the med. He had me stop taking it and told me to go to the er if it does not go away. The message was vague at best. He never spoke to me so how was he to know I did not make any changes and he did not give me a time frame on when I should go to the ER. Dropping this med would have severe consequences. (Lamictal) I could not get a hold of the pdoc, so I attempted contacting my lcsw to see if she had more info. She did not answer and I did not leave a message. So I go to the Er, they dismiss it because they could not see it and did not even try to feel the area I was referring to. Well next session I started to explain what happened and she started to say ya I was going to ca---- and she cut off her statement. She basically said dont worry no one thinks you did this for attention but don't make a habit of calling me outside of hours. Paraphrasing to some degree. My brother felt the area I was referring to and helped me make the decision to call. So it was not " just in my head". So I mentioned this and said I was very dissatisfied on how this was handled. All she did was making this weird expression like a dog does when they did something wrong.
Aside from this, when my therapist does not know an answer she says she will look into it and when I ask she has forgotten to do so. She has never once remembered. I brought this up and she proceeded to do it again. I get it, you're busy, but don't tell me you are looking into it if you're not. Last two sessions, she gas been late, but has not been in the past. ( I am the first session of the day) The first time she extended so I received the full allotment of time. The next time she started late and ended early. I always do my homework and I have made significant changes since I started working with her so it's not like I just go in talk leave and not apply what I am learning. I use to feel connected but now I am struggling to even trust her. (T-doc). My p-doc is just a hopeless case. Won't even go there.