It's unfortunate that he's so insensitive... but it is a common perception that people have who have never experienced depression, major anxiety, or painful health issues. They simply have no real understanding of it, and their own experiences tell them that they can in fact cheer themselves up when they're at their worst... so naturally they'd think that others can. And sometimes people are just too stubborn/insensitive to accept when someone goes "actually, that isn't how depression works."

When you talk about how you're feeling, especially if you guys are out somewhere and not just chilling at home, do you have preferences for what you would like to do to help alleviate how you are feeling? Like... if I have it as an option, I ask friends to let me sit with my back to the wall in restaurants, or on the aisle seats in theatres, or the window seat on public transit. That helps to alleviate the stress I feel in those situations, and my friends and bf help accommodate that. I also make it clear to them that when I'm really anxious or depressed as a general mood... well, I make them aware of it and point out that I'm best with last-minute invitations to do things, am liable to cancel anything made in advance, and can't always handle more than 1:1. I also have a strategy of just going up to one and saying "I'm going home, panicking" and they don't ask and just let me head home.

The point I guess I'm getting at is... is that while I let people know how I'm doing, I also only really involve them in my thoughts and feelings when I have something concrete to do which they can feel like they're helping with. Yes, sometimes I do have my conversations just about what's going on (more of a vent if I'm anxious about something that I can find some legitimacy to).... but it's usually nothing beyond "Yeah I've been feeling down lately, sorry. Just want to be on my own most of the time" or "Yeah I'm sorta panicky today".

There's nothing else I can expect them to do, but I help them to be supportive of me. I don't want to overwhelm them, and that is what would happen if I was to share so much of how I was feeling. And that's understandable - I've been overwhelmed by friends who were always telling me about how they're feeling... and I couldn't do anything about it but I DID understand and empathise as I understand depression. Yet there still wasn't anything for me to do, besides listen, and it would usually end up with me or them getting upset with the other one - I'd feel helpless, and they would feel angry that I wasn't somehow fixing things.

Do you give your bf concrete things about what you would like to do? Like... did you tell him that you wanted to leave the area with all the smells? If he didn't want to, well, there was nothing keeping you there really. "Look, I need to leave this area. The smells are making me sick. Would you like to leave with me?"

If he's really unsupportive all the time, have you asked him about how he feels when you're down?

I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who was so unsupportive if I knew that I was doing all I could to help them support me.