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vans1974 · Sep 09, 2014, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BubonicPlague

I've always been known not just my personality, but also my looks.

Other than being the depressing outcast girl, I was noted for being predominantly tall and thin, with curly hair.

People would either make fun of me saying how I'm, "anorexic" and that I would "starve myself". On the other hand, people would compliment me saying, "You should be a model".

I was always socially awkward, lacked confidence, and had a hard time making friends. My parents are really urging me to be social, especially during my senior year of high school. They especially want me to start succeeding as a young adult as I head on to college.

So I've now decided to wear better clothes that fit my figure and look good on me, also putting on makeup. They make me feel good and it increases my confidence. I usually wear just tank tops, jeans and plain sweaters (my mom usually doesn't get me anything fancy because she wants to save up on money.). Now that I live with my dad, he gives me the freedom to choose more cute things to wear that can be expensive (I try to find good things on low prices. Get more for less.).

Just of a couple weeks ago, when I started to dress up, people started coming up to me and talking. I even received the same compliments as of before, and even one girl was serious into referring a modeling agent to see me (which I decided not to pursue for: a reason I will be explaining below this).

There are a couple, if not, a few things that are bothering me.

When I would get home and tell my dad about these things. He told me that I was prettier than most girls, that it was an advantage and that I could get away with most things because of my looks. Like you can be "smart and pretty" or "dumb and pretty", and both would be fine, is what he told me. What he said and the way he said it, just didn't seem right to me. I said that every girl is beautiful in their own way, and that people shouldn't be judged for their looks but for their personality. He then said, "That's very socialist of you!" I talked to my mom about this and she said that all he was trying to do was compliment me, and that I made the mistake of not taking the compliment and being rude.

I've even been told that in general, people like you more if you look and dress better.

It will be important for when I get a job. I heard that thinner women get paid more.

As for the girl complimenting on me saying how I should be a model, and then trying to get me with an agent, it makes me really sad to hear the word "model".

The reason I don't like hearing about modeling is because I tried to get into modeling when I was around the age of 14, and was never accepted into the modeling agencies where I lived. There were many reasons why I didn't get accepted (was never told why I wasn't accepted. I was just ignored, and I knew why.).

-I was too young

-I didn't have my natural looks (I flat ironed my hair back then, and it didn't look natural in my portfolios)

-I had braces

- I looked very stiff in my poses in my portfolios (I wasn't used to posing, and then again the lady taking my pictures didn't work for a professional agency.).

-I never had a meeting with agents from the agencies I had my photos sent to.

-And I have scars all over my body (surgeries from traumatic injuries. One down the side of my neck, down my stomach, one across my stomach from the side, a hole from my feeding tube, chest tube scars on my side, and one that extends under my right breast to my shoulder wing, and a piece of my right collar bone was taken out. Also, because of scar tissue my right breast is abnormally smaller than my left, and has lost volume. Not to mention I have scoliosis which rotated my spine, making my left side of ribcage better).

After having unsuccessful attempts, I bugged my mom to keep going, but she talked me out of it and told me that I wouldn't be accepted any way for my scars and I should just give up. So I eventually gave up on my dream.

Even though I look a lot different today (except that I still have the scars and scoliosis), I still don't think I would be good for modeling. Still don't want to be a model.

From what I've heard:

-Agents tell their models to starve themselves to stay thin.

-Models are often paid less, because the expenses of their trip are taken out, and also goes to the agent.

-And I doubt they're even given benefits. Working as a nurse (which what I will be going to school for) is guaranteed to give you good health insurance for sure.

I just don't want to hear any more people tell me I should be a model. They don't know the truth about it all.

I love hot girls, but if their personality sucks, then they're not as attractive. It's hard to find a hot girl that is beautiful inside as well! It almost doesn't exist.