Dear Anony, I can empathize with you. I have felt like an outsider much of my life, and it often is worse when I am in a group where I feel I don't fit than when I am simply alone.

I am rather old, Anony, and I am reading your posts as being from someone who is still young, but which I mean anyone younger than 30. Here are some things that have helped me:

1. Joining a group because I was interested in what the group was about, not simply because I wanted to meet people. Metaphysical and religious study groups work for me. The people there are pursuing positive principles, so they are exactly the kind of people who want you to feel at home.

2. Go at least 7 times. I learned this principle in a fabulous little book about creating your personal village. I will look up the title and author for you, if you want, but you can find it on amazon.com. It is a very useful little primer with specific action steps about we can populate our world with supportive people. I am often too tired and depressed myself to follow the suggestions, but it does give me a game plan of things I can do when I am up to it.

3. Read books and listen to tapes/CD about how to make conversation and network. Not every suggestion will be relevant to you, but you will pick up a few good tips. Sometimes you can get these for free at a library. Dale Carnegie's 1930s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People is still relevant, despite the corny title. Learn to be a good listener.

I wish you all the best, Anony. I know it can be a struggle for some of us, because I am still fighting the good fight myself.

Big hugs, big hugs.