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Old Sep 09, 2014, 04:20 PM
CalmingOcean CalmingOcean is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 267
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche View Post
Hmmm... your T sounds a bit flakey to me. I'm sorry, I know that alot of times a big part of the therapy work is learning to have a good relationship with the T, but... I don't know. I don't think I could deal with someone like that, personally, and I'm also pretty sensitive to stuff (I imagine most of here are!).

I guess part of what worried me, in your first post, where you said she ended the session early because of the state you were in, even though you still had things you wanted to say? I know, 5 minutes might not be a big deal... but that would bug the heck out of me. you're paying for her TIME. Unless she's giving you a partial refund, or unless you're behaving in a violent manner towards her... I think ending a session early is really disrespectful to you (my personal opinion).

I also wanted to add... I don't think it's unusual to not be able to really show your emotions, especially if you're fairly new with a T. I do this. I think lots of people do this? Part of it for me is being scared, I think... my default mode when I'm confused or scared is to try to blend in and look as normal (not crazy!) as possible. I've had lots of people (friends, not Ts!) tell me that they have trouble telling when I'm upset or freaked out, because I "hide it" well - the problem is, I'm not purposefully hiding it, I'm trying to protect myself by not attracting attention! I guess I'm just surprised that your T maybe is not getting this?

Sorry... wish I had better advice. Have you seen any other Ts? I just wonder if someone else might be a better fit for you?
Wow you described something I do as well. She knows I have parts (not DID parts just unfragmented parts or somethng) that resist therapy but parts that really want it and when she is abrupt and stand off-ish or like she was in group, guess what happens?! The wall goes up! And I have a really hard time breaking that 'everything is fine' wall, or the just f*%+ off feeling, not that I am rude or disrespectful.

I don't pay her, it is through the government (we have perks in Canada like that). But the time she ended early (was a whle other rant on here haha) it was 30 minutes early and tho inside I was really hurt, of course wall was up and I was like okay great! I'm having a great day, just gonna continue on my merry way... Till it hit me later that I was so mad at myself grrrrrrr. I did end up calling her voicemail and telling her I am not purposefully resisting or wanting to waste her time and she left me a message back saying not to worry about the beggining stuff (because I don't know how to frikkin do therapy) and that she still wants me to come to that group and it will really help and she thinks I will love it..

Well... I'm not loving it.