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Old Sep 09, 2014, 05:23 PM
JustShakey's Avatar
JustShakey JustShakey is offline
WON'T!!!
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,576
Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche View Post
(((JustShaky))) Sorry you had to go through that too... it's crazy. I keep wanting to tell my current-T, "you know, we need to make sure at least ONE person in the room is sane... and we know that's not going to be ME"

I wish there were a "secret shopping" service for Ts! It was/is so hard for me to see that some of the craziness wasn't really *me*, and that my T should have been able to handle it better.

One of the things that makes me hopeful about current T (and forgive me if I've already said this) is he has a very strong presence... I think (hope) that means a strong sense of self that's not going to get sucked into my stuff. When I gave him the list of things that had freaked me out (from a previous visit), he joked that he has "pretty good self-confidence" - but said it in a way that sounded like he really was very comfortable with it, and himself. Unlike previous T, who made jokes that highlighted him thinking that I didn't like him. It's all so weird.

Thanks!
It was crazy, but I'm making it worth it. As I told T it was an awful way to learn some very hard truths about myself. I'd be doing myself a disservice not to use the experience I think, seeing as the price I paid for the knowledge was so high.

My T has a very strong presence too. He seems very comfortable laughing at himself and one of the first things he told me was that he will admit it when he makes a mistake: something that previous T simply could not face. He also knows her personally, which admittedly works both ways, as I'm a little jealous, but he knows it was a real thing, and not just me being dramatic or something.
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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue