it is a vicious cycle but from what you have described, he is the one that is abusive. he has been controlling and demanding of you and becomes angry and reactive when you do not behave as he wants you to. then he turns around and blames his explosive behavior on you. you have done nothing wrong. he makes you think you do things wrong so you feel guilty so he doesn't have to take responsibility and you will stay in the relationship. you are attracting abusive men from some reason. break the cycle and get out. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome