It seems like whatever she can until she sees im bordering on cracking and then I hear how she's always there for me and maybe I need more help. Last weekend was my new job. After 4 months I finally found another job. A traveling superintendent. Im scared as hell being on the road 500 miles from what there is that I can still find some comfort in. I get to hear the man up... you'll be fine... you can do this. I'm glad she feels life is ok and everything is good because in my mind everything's far from good. In my mind I go and struggle through it or lose everything. And that would be me losing everything not her. She has family who will most likely be in my house next week trying to convince her to go home with them. They've already told her to have me committed and go with them just 2 weeks ago, so.... Im so just ready to call my girls... apologize and give up.