I just want to say I know exactly how you feel and I believe for exactly the same reasons stemming to relationships with men back to my childhood. It's my pdoc, not T, so he is less nurturing by default (and I see him once a month). When I do see him he is always kind, supportive and all that. But when I get just a little extra it's exhilarating, like you say. And when its just a tad less, so disappointing. I don't think its anything about him or his approach, I think it's about my need for male approval. I have no words of wisdom but I can certainly relate to how hard this must be for you...