Thanks both of you; and..

"what do I think of him now?"
I still love him with all of my heart, and i am worried about him when he is sick, and.... I still love him... but I know if he doesn't love me, then I should let it go... though unlike all the other girls I see at my school, I wont hop right back on the train with another guy.....

"do i feel he is treating me right?"
He's not abusive. He's always nice to me, and protects me... But... He doesn't treat me like I think a boyfriend should... he really doesn't hang out with me any more.. not even once in a whole month...

I forced him to answer me yesterday, and I wouldn't reply to anything he sent me that wasn't an answer in my txt messages... He replied "The truth is, I truely dont know" ... then after i responded "okay, thanks for finally answering... when you do know, can you let me know? I wont push it anymore."
then he responded "I still like you though" hence the word... like... and he refrain from the love word...so I guess it's his way of saying "lets be friends".

"really, this "new face" of that guy-how does it look TO YOU?"
I feel like he hates me... with a great passion to it... something in his eyes changed... from the soft loving gently look to a cold icey and scary look that just sends a deep chill down me when i look into them...

"YOU have the power, the decsison in your hands. do you still like him how much? how this relationtiop is important TO YOU?"
Yes I still do... v.v though I feel that I should let it go.. And I dont want to... I LOVE that extreme safe feeling that I get when he would put his arm around me... and... this relationship is more important to me than anything... I gave up the chance I had to go live with my dad and step mom to stay close to him... hence they live in Texas while we live in Indiana.

I believe he has lost interest.. Just like he was my first boyfriend, I am his first girlfriend... I feel .... so much more than confused... and a lot of hurt.
and, I'll try my hardest not to blame him, when I should be looking at myself instead.

And thank you for your help