Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewilled
Hi everyone,
It's been awhile since I've posted on here....my life has become incredibly intense. I think I'm losing my dissociation defense in a way, and that is bringing everything, good and bad, to life for me. Anyways....
Last session, I went in after having a sort of intense experience around a memory. Suffice to say, I had a very intense session where I spilled a lot of trauma related stuff and I cried (which I've never done before). My T tried to offer me comfort by moving the tissues near me but I wouldn't take one /: I did say thank you.....at the end of the session, it felt a little awkward.
I just feel so vulnerable now I guess....For a couple of days, I was worried that T was going to be mad at me but I recognized this as a cognitive distortion. It went away but now I feel so incredibly vulnerable. Like I want to hide my face. Or crawl in a hole....or rest my head on his shoulder 
I'm worried this session or whatever will change our relationship in some way and I'm nervous about seeing him this week.
Anyone have any similar experiences or words of encouragement? I could really use some support....
Thank you |
It's good your dissociation is getting better.
I recently had a similar experience where I thought he was going to be mad that I had regressed so much after we were just talking about how I was getting better. I was so scared to tell him I almost had a total breakdown. I was scared that he would abandon me; at the very least, that I would disappoint him, his disapproval...of course it was nothing of the sort.
It seems like the more intense and intimate it gets, the easier it is to tell the most embarrassing scary or shameful stuff. I guess that's all the encouraging words I have to say.
I think you're doing really good work.