I taught school for 31 years and have seen my share of bad parenting! Its out there and responsible for a lot of negative behaviors in our society. However, there are also a very high percentage of cases where the child has a mental disorder or illness and nothing the parents do or don't do is going to have much effect, if it has any at all! After going through what we have gone through with our daughter I will never judge another parent as long as I live! We raised 2 boys who are in their 20s. Both have been to college, have good jobs, are hard workers and have always been pleasant, polite and respectful (well, maybe not every minute of the day ). One is married and will clean the house and prepare dinner if he gets home from work first. He also offered up his last $2 of allowance money when he was 12 for a homeless child in my class. Enter our daughter, 17 days old, preemie drug baby who came as a foster child. She was a delightful baby! We all loved and adored her from the day she came to our home. We adopted her at age 2 1/2. She is gifted, musical, athletic and pretty, has so much going for her. We really didn't do much different with her as far as parenting, though I am sure with 2 much older brothers and being the only girl she is a bit spoiled. However that would not explain flying off the handle at the slightest provocation, cutting herself, anorexia, bulimia, talking back, smoking pot, raiding a liquor cabinet with her friend at her friend's house, considering suicide and even attempting it! After three years of a living hell in our home by the grace of God we were led to a gifted child psychiatrist who diagnosed her with bipolar, placed her on two very effective medications and we now have our child back! I cannot tell you the number of times over during various hospitalizations my husband and I were told to read parenting books or consider a parenting class! We would leave those sessions frustrated and in tears.

So many times, far too many, behavior of a child has little or nothing to do with the skills of the parent! Again, not all, but far too often to blame all bad behavior on poor parenting skills!

Nancy