I've recently heard the saying, "if you don't want to find something then don't go searching for it." It kind of reminded me of the saying, "what you don't know doesn't hurt you." I can agree. Ignorance can be bliss. Had you not discovered these things by snooping on your husband, there is a decent chance that maybe things would have went through their naughty course without your knowledge and you'd be living in ignorant bliss with your husband. It's also likely that the behavior could continue and eventually it would hit you unexpectedly in the future if he decides the grass is greener and he no longer wants your farm land. Or maybe he is like a good percentage of society that gets bored and is an occasional thrill seeker and attention grabber. Maybe things can be rekindled if you were to add more excitement into your life. Regardless, I think we all want to know the truth. We all want to be in a relationship that is real, honest, and trustworthy and those qualities can be damn hard to find and for sure damn hard to maintain. We all want our partners to dive in with full honesty and passion, while out of fear we dip our toes in. Next thing you know both sides are not giving it their all and you find yourself dancing around obstacles and creating more problems rather than confronting issues head on and creating solutions. You feel guilty for snooping. You've explained scenarios in how you arrived at finding this information mistakenly and maybe that is the way it occurred but forget the excuses. Forget feeling guilty. You'd like to trust your husband fully but in this world people slip and everyone fears the worst and sometimes are watching out for those red flags. You found your suspicion and if he has made a commitment to you and neglected to follow through with his words/promises then you have every right to know. He failed at telling you. Although snooping is not considered a solution, I think at this point you have every right to snoop and know what another person is getting you involved in. His actions effect your life and he is behaving selfishly. You have a right to look out for yourself, but you also have the responsibility on your part to try to make it right and try to save the marriage. Yes, he got you guys in this negative situation and that does not exclude him from working on things too. It's your choice how you would like to move forward. But I'd say being more direct with better communication is the first step. Anxiety and fear is too toxic to keep in your life.