I think my sexual appetite does hold alot of responsibility to this behavior of mine and the encouragement of his. I used to love sex...that's where those babies of mine stemmed from (2 straight in a row), but it's all came to a screeching halt. I know for a fact it's not physical, it's mental. Before I depended on my husband for every surviving element in my life. I used to pleasure him even if I wasn't all into (although he thought I was) to sort of repay him for his hard work (sounds like a prostitute I know). Now that I'm more independent and contributing to the care of our family I don't feel sexually attracted to him anymore like I used too...it's all very strange. I do think he's hot, and still the hardest worker I've every known (which I find very sexy), but the *** hole aspect flushes that away real quick.

Eh, you're all right about what it is your saying...I agree with it. Well accept for the men are superior. I've always considered myself a strong woman and unbreakable when it comes to control. There is aspects I understand when it comes to the nature of both men and women that are not my place to state because they are my individualistic opinions that are irrelevant.

I have talked to my husband since this posting and he agreed that he would stop and apologized for snickering about it as though it were a joke. I just explained to him what it appeared to be to me, and he said I was way off. He said he preferred that I was awake and into it...so we both suffered more then I thought about this.

If it were possible I would have seduced him in his sleep, but unfortunately for us women if the man ain't awake neither is his little friend...so I couldn't. But I thought if I could make him see what it was like it would have helped. I just told him instead. Hopefully he'll fully respect that, so far nothing has happened so maybe he does.