I know this was bad. I know I shouldn't have.
My problem is I don't care enough about myself to remember to take it.

I had HEART MEDICATION that I stopped taking when I was 15. I just- didn't care. I have kidney disease and I'm NOT taking medication that I've been prescribed. I'll remember in the morning, oh, I have to do that, and I WON'T. I won't put forth the effort. I've wanted to die since I was a little girl. I've never truly cared about me. I put others before myself to a dangerous degree.

Will it get better? Will the withdrawal from the meds go away eventually?

I was on 200mg of Zoloft, 150 mg of welbutrin, and 15mg of abilify and it's been almost a month. I know those are high doses... I know this was wrong. I just am hoping that eventually I'll get better coping skills and over time not need them.

It seems like I've sabotaged myself. That's the issue. I'm not in the right state of mind. I can't convince myself to take it every day. It's not like this is the only thing I don't do for myself. I shower, but not as much as I used to. I don't take care of grooming habits, I don't go to class regularly, I'm neglectful to my friends.

I wish I cared more. In theory I care a lot. When it comes down to it, I just can't bring myself to worry about me.