Thanks guys I still haven't emailed her yet, but reading these have pushed me to go ahead and do so. I just know that I can't go to a hospital, I can't let my mom know how bad off I really am. She is going through a lot of stress and then for me to come out with something like this, I'm scared that it will push her off the edge, mentally. Plus, putting me in a hospital would make me lose all trust in anybody, as I don't feel like a threat to myself, and a hospital setting scares me beyond belief. I love my therapist and she has helped me with A LOT of things, so I think that this is just me not being able to put myself out there. It took me a while to tell her about my self-harming but when I did, I did feel better, and we are working on it. Now this is just the next step I guess. I think the hardest part is that I want to help myself, but I have kept quiet for so long that I forgot that these feelings aren't normal, if that makes sense.