I am a parent and the child of abusive parents. Parenting a wounded child that arrived in your life without much preparation has got to be more difficult than I can imagine. Parents are not perfect - they look for help, ask questions, and learn from their mistakes.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and to me, that is a sign of a good parent!

I have not been the perfect parent for my boys, but I have always loved them unconditionally and put their best interests before anything else.

This child needs so much more than just a "normal" parent. And there is a big difference between "desirable" behavior and unsafe behavior. This child isn't just stealing a cookie from the cookie jar, her behavior is a reflection of the torment inside her. Helping her with her feelings and fears in a healthy way is so much more than trying to achieve desired behavior.

Making her feel safe and loved during her unsafe behavior will help her re-establish the connections she has lost or never completely formed.

It takes a village...and PC with supportive, honest answers can be that village