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Playing was not the play it seems most children play, obedience a must, neatness was above all else, questions non-existent, emotions and feelings pulled into safety as they were not allowed, and a little girl turned into a woman much, much too early, to an thing----just an object that never knew or felt wanted, that did and acted as instructed, that never knew life the way it is told it should have been, and even today still reacts, responds, and often feels punished or laughed at all over again or still. Love only existed as attention equaled pain, pain equaled sex, sex equaled obedience, obedience equaled love. (or many other words could replace sex, words I cannot put down, that only then would eventually then equal love).
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I understand this, I know those feelings, I know the confusion. I am not laughing DPS - you are so honest in your posts - it touches my heart deeply. I want to help the wounded ones understand it wasn't their fault, they didn't deserve this, and they should have received real love - the healthy kind.
Just know that I am keeping you safely in my thoughts.....
and I believe in you!
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Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou
Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.