I saw my Dr yesterday. I told her all the things I did as a raging lunatic last week and she of course asked about self-harm. She commented that it had been along time since I had done it. And then she wanted details of where, when, how much, how bad...all that. Awkward.

She said the memory of my Dad of course was affecting me but that the cycling made it worse. And that Im still dealing with all my childhood crap with bipolar on top of it. She DID take off the BPD dx given to me by a different Dr!!! But...she said I have very rapid cycling. No me gusta!

She ordered labs for lithium level and she started me on tegretol and wants me to take klonopin to control my anxiety and ensure sleep.

But I feel better today. My mind is quiet. She said tegretol will help with the rapid cycling...

I don't want to take it. I feel good.